AdultTime

Adult Time! Too lonely to Netflix And Chill? No worries, pal. I got something that will cheer you right up. Adult Time aka the Premium Adult Digital Entertainment Network won’t get you laid quite the same way as getting a woman drunk while showing her chick flicks, but they do have a metric fuck-ton of dirty movies to shake your dick at. You’re going to get off either way, right? You won’t even have to order the broad a pizza.

It’s Like the Netflix of Porn

You know what’s fucking weird? Nowhere on AdultTime’s landing page do they make a reference to the fact that they’re basically the Netflix of porn. Maybe it’s some kind of copyright thing, but I see other companies compare themselves to the streaming movie giant so I don’t know. What I do know is that AdultTime is totally the Netflix of porn.

So what does the landing page say, if not that? They tell you can enjoy thousands of movies, series, and exclusive channels. Channels? Oh, maybe that’s what sets them apart from Netflix, and really gives them the advantage here.

They claim to be The Only Subscription You’ll Need. That’s bold as hell, like the boasts and brags on every other porn site. The figures they’re citing look good, though. They’ve got over 100 channels, 50,000 episodes and at least 6 new releases a day. Channels include recognizable brands like Vivid, PureTaboo, BurningAngel and RoccoSiffredi.

They’ve got Exclusive Adult Time Orginal Series. Again, it just screams Netflix of Porn. The landing-page teases include a bunch of ‘80s broads in spandex and leg warmers, and a sci-fi sex show called Future Darkly.

At the bottom of the page is a big blurb explaining What Is Adult Time. They dance around the fact some more, but goddammit, what they’re describing is Netflix, only full of uncensored adult TV shows, movies, and series.

The site has been mentioned in places like The Washington Post, Forbes and Rolling Stone, but who really cares? So was the fucking Segway. I’m more interested in this trial they’re offering, just like another site whose name rhymes with Wet Chicks. (Unlike Netflix’s freebie month, it turns out AdultTime’s trial is only 3 days and costs 3 bucks.)

A Familiar Layout, But Full of Sex

Once you get logged in, the main page of AdultTime looks really familiar. I swear I’ve seen this exact layout before, only it was full of non-pornographic movies and shows. There are rows of Latest Adult Time Updates and Recommended Scenes just for me, everything on top of a clean black background. The latest one, posted today, is a girl-on-girl taboo scene that I am already downloading, courtesy of the convenient button built into the thumbnail.

The familiarity is comfortable. It’s just the sex-fueled version of something you’re already used to. The movie posters sliding across the top of the screen look a hell of a lot more appealing than the Bird Box, even if the women aren’t blindfolded. Not all of them, anyway.

AdultTime.com is clearly trying to appeal to a wide audience. The featured movies at the top are pretty diverse. There’s a BBW love fest and a hardcore movie with foot fetish scenes. Tranny porn is on offer, as well as a rough-looking, bad cop-themed flick with Reluctance as one of its categories.

I’m intrigued by the poster for something called Maid For Each Other. The photo is actually pretty clean, and maybe that’s why I want to see the girls in it get so dirty. I click through and find an opportunity to check out a Girlsway Original Mini-series.

Way Better Than Stranger Things

The Series pages give you quick access to every available episode. Maid For Each Other is brand new, so there’s actually only one 36-minute episode to watch right now. There are previews of two upcoming episodes to keep you hooked, though. Next week Kenzie Reeves, Alina Lopez, and Mackenzie Moss will be fingering themselves together, so I think I’ll have to come back.

The first episode is called Office Cleaning. The young blonde comes in to clean the place up, but the thick-bootied MILF behind the desk really starts taking advantage of her a couple of minutes in. I’m pretty sure what’s happening is considered sexual harassment. I downloaded the clip as evidence, and I’ll be studying the pussy-licking scene extensively.

The production values are solid, which is something I noticed in more of AdultTime’s offerings as I browsed the site. I was worried they’d have to pad that giant catalog with some wonky-eyed crackwhores or something, but I didn’t find any bullshit productions. This is all good, polished studio smut.

Below each video, you’ll find a synopsis and all the relevant tags. Click on Tribbing, Fingering, Teen or Older/Younger to jump to AdultTime’s full stash of that category. There are also thumbnails of the babes in the picture, leading to their profiles.

So Many Beautiful Girls to Choose From

I fell in love with this young slut Scarlett Sage as I was watching her work that pussy, so I needed to see what else she’s got on the site. I clicked my way through to her profile, which is actually a little light on information. You won’t find a bio or even stats, but there is a lot of porno to look at and that’s really what you came for.

Scarlett actually has 30 movies on AdultTime already, so I’ll be busy for a while. I’ll have to cancel my evening feeding and defecating routine. There are photo sets as well, most of which are pulled directly from the movies.

She’s been in material for a half dozen of the site’s channels, including All Girl Massage, Mommy’s Girl, and Web Young. I got curious what else I could find channel-surfing, so I hit the Channels page.

The Channels page lists 152 channels, which is overwhelming, but there’s a search engine built into the sidebar. The Gay and Tranny porn is filtered out by default, so add it back in if that’s your bag. Me? I checked off a few of my favorite categories from the sidebar: Asian, Blowjob, Gangbang, Squirting, and Teen.

All those tags I picked only narrowed things down to 117 results. If you spend a lot of time browsing Netflix without being able to choose something, AdultTime might fuck you right up. On the other hand, most of you are going to be happy with the overabundance of Asian teens giving blowjobs and squirting during gangbangs.

Cheaper Than Cable TV, and With More Nudity

AdultTime’s full streaming and downloading plan is $30 USD a month, which is pretty much what every porn site costs these days unless you’re into some really kinky niche stuff. These guys may not have tentacle incest hentai, but they’ve got a mountain of the stuff normal perverts jerk it to. The Fetish and BDSM sections are a little lighter, but there’s some extra kinky stuff in there for the deviates.

If you don’t need downloads because you’re such a modern man with Internet access, the streaming-only plan will save you ten bucks. Ballers who can afford a year at a time will end up paying ten bucks a month, which is actually cheaper than Netflix’s Standard plan.

Overall, I’m very impressed with AdultTime. They’ve got an awesome library of smut with a fucking killer presentation. As the Netflix of porn, though, it’s missing one key feature: how do I stream it to my TV? Netflix and other streaming services, including smut sites, have support baked into their video players. I need that Chromecast button so I can watch buttholes gaping on a much bigger screen. I’ve seen other sites roll this out slowly, so let’s hope AdultTime gets with the times.

One-fee access to a variety of porno is nothing new. Usually, it’s framed as a network of sites, but AdultTime takes the more modern approach of billing themselves as another video streaming service. The site looks and feels just like Netflix, only their selection is even better. The smut’s well organized and easy to get to, and way more than you’ll ever need. Check these perverts out.