Aloha Tube

Ah, AlohaTube with its "aloha porn and sex" reminds me of vacation on Hawai! When it comes to the world of tube porn sites, it can be hard to tell at first glance which ones are legit and which ones are shit. There are hundreds of them, and far too many of them are not really tube sites at all, but massive link dumps to other sites called aggregators. If you’re not careful before you know it, you could fall right down the rabbit hole of aggregators, clicking on video after video, only to be brought to another “aloha porn tube site,” and then another, and then another. I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I’ve fallen into this trap.

Not all tube sites are created equal, that’s for sure. Some have even been known to hide illegal content, or to bring instantly regrettable pop-ups that either give your computer a virus or potentially get you on an FBI list. Nobody needs that shit (what kind of twisted fucking asshole hides illegal content on a seemingly above-board porn site? Oh, that’s right, the government does that sometimes…).

Which is why I’m here, to help you weed through all of the online porn content that exists, so you don’t have to. Sure, there are some safe bets out there when it comes to tube sites (Pornhub, Redtube, etc.), but sometimes those just aren’t enough. Variety is the spice of life, after all, so it can be helpful to have a few backup tube sites up your sleeve for when you need something a little different. Each site curates differently and is bound to have different material at the ready.

Rooting for the Doggystyle Underdog—A Fun Change of Pace

That brings us to alohatube.com, one of the lesser-known “tube sites” out there. I put “tube sites” in quotes because Aloha Sex Tube is something of a hybrid—part tube site (they host some of their own content), and part aggregator (bringing you to another site to watch the video you clicked on…it really just boils down to the luck of the draw). I think this might be a result of Aloha Tube slowly making the switch from being one of the first porn aggregator sites to ever appear on the web to the more legit and familiar model of a porn tube site. I guess only time will tell.

Either way, whatever you want to call it, let’s take a look at what Alohatube has to offer. From the moment you land on Alohatube’s home page, you can already tell it’s going to be a little different. Unlike Redtube or Pornhub, it’s colorful and fun, donning a green background and purple and yellow fonts.

This provides a welcomed change from the usual tube site color scheme of black and red, as if you’re doing something dark or illicit. But you’re not, of course! You’re just giving yourself a little self-loving. No shame in that. And Alohatube seems to embrace this fact with its fun and bright aesthetic.

No Pussyfooting Around, Just Dickhandling Without Delay

Aloha Tube gets you right into the matter at hand (pun intended). You don’t have to do any searching or clicking around. Right off the bat, you have a sprawling list of large thumbnails for a huge assortment of categories. If you’re not a categories guy, no need to worry, easily toggle the homepage to show either top-rated or new movies as well. You’re in control. Although they don’t appear to have a “random” or “shuffle” feature, that is okay—these features are kind of cool in a novelty sort of way, but I rarely actually use them.

A Little Something for Everyone

Alohatube has a huge variety of types of videos as well, catering to your kinkier fantasies (sissy, slave, prolapse), and your tamer desires (MILF, busty, teen) alike. There’s a little something for everyone on Alohatube.com. Except for, of course, pedophiles and animal lovers. You fucktards will never be welcome. Anywhere. Except for prison, of course. You’ll be welcome to become some convict’s meat puppet there.

With a grand total of 3,981,864 videos (and about 1,000 new videos added every week), you would be seriously hard-pressed to ever find yourself running out of content. This is a massive collection of diverse porn. Plus, the ratio of amateur and professional porn looks to be almost equal, which, as an avid homemade porn fan, is great news for me.

Can You Host Tonight?

One part of Alohatube that I’m not so crazy about, however, is that, as partially a porn aggregator, not every video on the site is actually hosted by Alohatube. Many are, mind you, but, every once in a while, you will be redirected to a second party website. I haven’t come across a situation where the video just didn’t exist on the other site (as is the case with many aggregators out there), but it’s still kind of an annoyance to have to go elsewhere to watch the video you want. Especially because a lot of these second-party sites tend to be ad-ridden and lousy with potential virus scares.

Speaking of ads, Alohatube is definitely not the worst aggregator site I have ever been to for advertisements. At the very least, you won’t feel bombarded (at least not on Alohatube proper…the other sites they aggregate, I can’t say the same for). There are some ads on the site itself, but they aren’t too invasive (mostly kept to the bottom of the page and occasionally before videos), and zero pop-ups or pop-unders. Obviously, no ads would be preferred, but if you consider the precedent that has been set by similar lesser-known xxx aggregator sites, it’s doable. Still really fucking annoying. But doable nonetheless.

Don’t Hate the Player, Hate the Game

As far as video length is concerned, you are not going to find much content that makes it far past the ten-minute mark, so Alohatube might not be the place to go if you’re looking for full-length, uncut scenes (HQporner might be more your speed if that’s your thing). But, then again, that’s more an issue of the tube porn model in general than it is an issue with Aloha Tube specifically.

When you go to a tube site, you can be pretty much guaranteed ahead of time that the majority of the site’s content is going to be on the shorter side. Besides, you prematurely ejaculating wife disappointers probably couldn’t handle anything much longer than ten minutes anyway!

For those of you who are interested, Alohatube.com also allows you to easily share their videos on any of your social media accounts. I never understood the allure of doing that. Nor have I ever seen a porno that was so good, I just had to share it with all my friends and family on Facebook. But, hey, if that’s what you’re into, you’ll be happy to know you can.

One feature that I did not think I would miss from other tube sites that I found myself wanting on Alohatube is a comments section under the videos. I don’t know why. It’s not like I want to interact with you sickos or anything, but it can be entertaining to see what people say sometimes. At the very least, some information on the video would be nice—who the actress is, where the video came from, etc.

My New Go-To Tube?

Aloha Tube is a well-maintained, regularly updated, relatively unknown xxx tube and porn aggregator site that might be just what the doctor ordered if you’ve grown tired of your go-to for tube porn. That’s not to say that I’m necessarily counting out Alohatube as a potential new go-to tube site. You might really dig the lighter, more whimsical feel to it. For me personally, though, too many of the videos require me to go to other sites, and I could do with fewer ads.

That is not to say that I won’t visit Alohatube now and then. Just one too many inconvenient factors for me to completely switch over to it for my go-to tube. I do, however, think it has a lot of potential. If they could just calm down a little with the ads and make sure that they actually host all of the videos that they offer on the alohatube.com (often misspelled as "alohatubes", "aloahtube.com", "tubealoha", "aloahatube" and "aholatube") website itself, I could easily see myself visiting every day.