DoktorABC

Just who is Doktor ABC? As I loaded up the site, I briefly imagined a perverted doctor and his hospital full of freaky nurses doling out treatments in the form of blowjobs and threesomes. Hey, can you blame me? That isn’t at all what the site’s about, but that’s the kind of thing I typically review here at ThePornDude. Well, it turns out the treatments here are considerably more legit than the porno fantasy I’d envisioned, at least from a medical standpoint. DoktorABC might not be a real person or an actual doctor, but the website will put you in touch with one. So, what’s ailing you, pal?

DoktorABC.com, in case you’re still confused, is an online doctor and pharmacy service. They’re currently operating in the UK and Germany, so apologies in advance to those who live outside their range of service. While they don’t yet have the same ludicrously high traffic volume of American counterparts like ForHims, their hundreds of thousands of monthly visitors tell you this isn’t some bullshit fly-by-night operation. So I decided to take a closer look for myself and see what they really offer.

He’s the One They Call Doktor ABC

Okay, let’s get the most basic question out of the way first: DoktorABC.com is the real deal. If you do a little outside Google research for yourself, you’ll quickly find that they’ve got a stellar reputation around the internet, including a 5-star rating with TrustPilot. More importantly, they’ve got a respectable Medical Advisory Board that “consists of Europe’s leading medical experts to follow telemedicine’s highest standards.” A handful of official certifications are displayed halfway down the tour page, just in case you’re still skeptical.

In other words, Doktor ABC is legitimate, licensed, and legal. Telehealth has come a long way in the last few years, boosted by the social distancing requirements of the COVID era. This isn’t the same sketchy-ass overseas pharmacy hustle you’ve been seeing for decades, where you may or may not get your meds, and they may or not be legal or even real. DoktorABC.com joins a growing list of real options for improving your health over the internet.

Of course, there are some hard limits to what telemedicine is capable of. If you think you’ve got cancer, for example, you’re going to need to be seen in person. Likewise, for that weird rash, you got after hooking up with your second cousin a couple of weeks ago. DoktorABC mainly focuses on Men’s Health, Women’s Health, and Sexual Health: a smiling bearded man poses beside a menu, including Erectile Dysfunction, Premature Ejaculation, and Hair Loss. The happy lady advertises Contraceptive Pills, Cystitis Treatment, and Morning-After Pills. And the cute couple smiling for the stock photo probably had no idea DoktorABC would suggest they had Chlamydia, Genital Herpes, and/or Genital Warts. I guess they’ve been getting busy, probably with a whole lot of other people.

To be even more precise on what they were offering, I made my way to the Treatments page. I had a little bit of worry they’d be selling some herbal nonsense or pseudo-scientific snake oil, but my fears were unfounded. Many name-brand and generic medications are available through DoktorABC.

Erectile Dysfunction is the first set of meds listed under Treatments, and they’ve got all the big names. There’s Cialis and the generic form Tadalafil; blue-pill Viagra and generic Sildenafil; Levitra and Vardenafil. They’ve even got options like an ED Trial Pack, Cialis Daily, Spedra, and Viagra Connect.

There aren’t as many options available for Premature Ejaculation or Hair Loss, but you’ve got a couple of choices for each. Honestly, if you’ve done any outside research at all, even talking to a friend, you will have heard of these medications. They aren’t peddling fake meds, herbals, or other nonsense.

Okay, So How’s DoktorABC Work?

Now that I’ve got your interest by mentioning prescription boner pills, you’re probably wondering how it works. Well, my soft-wienered friends, it’s straightforward. In fact, the whole service breaks down into three simple steps, which they outline out front. If you’ve ever tried a telehealth or telemedicine site before, you’ve probably already got an excellent idea of how this works.

To get started with DoktorABC.com, you’ll begin your online consultation with a health questionnaire. Make sure you answer everything truthfully; that’ll help ensure you get the right treatment and that it will not have deleterious side effects. Keep in mind that a real, licensed doctor will prescribe you a real, valid prescription here. You aren’t visiting the neighborhood drug dealer to score an 8-ball or some molly, so don’t act like it.

Next, you’ll choose your treatment. I went over most of the erectile dysfunction pills above, but regardless of your ailment, you’ll probably want to read Doktor ABC’s info about each to decide which is right for you. For example, Viagra is designed to be popped shortly before hopping into the sack, while Cialis puts a whole day of available erections at your disposal. When in doubt, ask your doctor! That’s one of the reasons they’re there.

After the doctor reviews your info, they’ll issue a prescription if it’s appropriate. That leaves the final step: getting your medication. Whether you’re getting some Levitra to help your wonky woody, some Finasteride for your increasingly shiny skull, or some Cerazette to keep from getting knocked up, you won’t have to worry about the judgmental eye of the local chemist. Medications are shipped for free to your home the day after they’re prescribed. How’s that for a home-based treatment?

Since the drugs are shipped the next day, I was curious how fast they get to your place. After all, a morning-after pill needs to be popped within around 120 hours of getting a vag all pumped full of hot, sticky sperm. Doktor ABC ships via UPS, and they’re apparently quick as hell. According to the site, I can get a morning-after pill in just two days if I start filling out the forms now. That’s fast enough to get the job done!

Automatic prescription renewal is available at the checkout, too. You choose the desired delivery frequency, so you’ll get re-upped on your own schedule, as needed. You’re not locked in, so you can edit your subscription at any point along the line if you’re all stocked up or find you no longer need the medication.

I should point out that since you’re dealing with a licensed medical professional, you’re not 100% guaranteed to get a prescription. It’s ultimately at their discretion, but if there are medical reasons for denying your ‘script, they will suggest an alternative that more closely fits your personal needs.

But How Much Does It Cost?

One of DoktorABC.com’s biggest selling points is that there are no hidden charges. You don’t pay until you check out, and that final price includes your medical consultation, online prescription, the medication, and next-day delivery. They’re very transparent about their prices, too, with complete breakdowns of what you’ll be paying based on what medications and quantities you need.

For example, erectile dysfunction treatments start at £12.17 per dose, including consultation and everything else. Generic Sildenafil is considerably cheaper than brand-name Viagra, which I fully expected, though I was a little bit surprised by the prices per milligram. A prescription for 100mg pills is nearly the same as a prescription for 25mg pills, and in some cases, it’s even cheaper. Well, as my grandfather used to say, it’s better to get your boners in bulk.

If you’ve ever purchased medications online using some of the older, less reputable methods, you might be wondering what kind of payment DoktorABC.com accepts. Well, don’t worry—it’s not some complicated shit with cryptocurrency or sketchy overseas wires. Instead, they take the usual payment types, from Visa and Mastercard to Bank Transfer Payment to PayPal. You can even pay cash on delivery if that’s easier for you, which is a real rarity on the other side of the pond.

It isn’t too hard to see why DoktorABC.com is as popular as it is. The site makes telemedicine simple as hell, at least when it comes to a few modern ailments like erectile dysfunction, hair loss, and STDs. The prices are friendly, but I’d argue it’s the convenience that really makes Doktor ABC something to behold. In just a matter of minutes, you can have a real prescription of Viagra, Cialis, or a variety of other medications delivered straight to your door. What a beautiful time to be alive!