Fling.com

You’ve seen it time and time again, I’m sure … “Sign up now for the number one hookup site! No charge! No card needed! Tons of hot sluts ready to fuck in your area!” How many times have you been fooled by that old trick, huh? Oh, who are we kidding? We both know you still click on these ads every once in a while, on the sheer hope that maybe, just maybe, one of them will be real one day.

Unfortunately, though, this kind of site doesn’t seem to exist. If it seems too good to be true, hell, it probably is. But I still have hope that one of these days someone will figure out a way to come out with a completely free, real, sexy hookup site. Not like Tinder, either, something that is very explicitly for fucking. I don’t like to have to play all the games on apps like Tinder and Bumble and Plenty of Shit. It’s fucking annoying. Sure, Tinder has a reputation for facilitating a fuck ton of hookups, and it definitely has worked for me before. But it still requires way more work than I would have preferred to put into it! You still, most of the time, have to jump through hoops, play the game, before pussy is ever even close to being on the table. And the table is always a good place for pussy to be!

It would be nice, however, if there could be just one site that is unabashedly for casual sex and nothing else. A site that commits to that mission – that mission to help you spew your emission – and is jam-packed with sexy broads who are horny and loose and ready to party. Somebody, please tell me if they find that site out there. I’ve heard of Feeld before, it’s an app, but I think it’s mostly for couples and swingers. Plus, it isn’t very popular, so I can’t imagine the selection would be stellar.

And then I came across a site called Fling. Actually, there’s a really good chance that you’ve probably come across it at one point or another, too, whether or not you were even aware of it. It’s one of the more heavily advertised of all the “hook up” sites. It’s been placed on most of the popular porn tube sites, and it claims to be the real deal. Well, let’s take a look, shall we, and figure out, once and for all, if Fling is, in fact, the right site to help you find a hot fling of your own.

From the moment you land on Fling’s home page, it appears to be the real deal. It looks pretty legit. You are greeted with a quick questionnaire regarding your gender and what you’re looking for. You’ll also be asked to provide your birth year (to confirm that you are over 18, of course). And they will be asking for your email address as well. Alright, that’s fine.

This is precisely why I made a spam email address, to begin with. I highly recommend you do the same. Any time you want to sign up for a site that you are unsure of or that you already know is going to decimate your inbox with undesired emails, have an alternative email address to give them, so you can go on unbothered in your daily life, and only check the backup when you absolutely need to, to sign up for sites like this and whatnot.

Once you’re registered, you will be prompted even further to fill out the remainder of your profile. Fling will ask you a few questions about what you’re looking for, the duration of the kind of fling you want, if and for how long you are willing to travel, the frequency of hookups you desire, how kinky you are, and a few basic physical trait questions (hair, eye color, etc.). Then, finally, once you get all of those questions answered, you will have access to the site.

Where the Fuck do I Click?

First of all, the site design is not great. It’s very cluttered and noisy, there is shit everywhere you look. It’s so chaotic, in fact, that it can be difficult to figure out where the eye is meant to go. Where, in other words, do you even go to start browsing and chatting with horny hotties in your area? There are just so many things to distract you, possible things to click on!

Firstly, there’s a carousel of chicks cascading by at the top of the page. Then, down below you’ll find two adjacent sections: “members who stream” (I’m assuming that means cam stream?) and “meet now in [your state].” Right above those, packed into the chaos is “who’s online now” and some game called “who’s cute” where you can rate users.

Below all that, it gets even messier. You’ll find a box titled “who’s viewed me” next to “my friends” and then popular member photos, popular member videos, all of which blend right into an ad for Cam Soda. Oh, and I completely forgot to mention the site menu bar. Up at the top of the page, you can choose between Home, Search, Online Now, Chat, Trending Now, Live Girls, and (of course) Upgrade Now. It’s like they tried to throw every single thing they’ve ever seen on a website before onto a single page. Just way too fucking much going on.

I mean, I’m sure you’d probably get used to this after a while, right? But at the same time, who the fuck wants to put in the time to get used to awful site design when it could just be avoided altogether by the people behind this site?

Good Search and Advanced Search Functions

Well, fuck it, might as well enjoy it while I’m here, right? Besides, it looks like there are lots of really sexy chicks on here to chat with! Let’s check out the search function. Search is pretty straight forward, it seems. Pretty much everything you could ask for from a search engine on a dating or hookup site like this. Select a sexual preference, gender (or couples), ages (18-100), country, zip code/city, and then check or uncheck the following boxes: online now, video chatting, users with photos, live streaming, SMS/text verified, and verified photos.

The advanced search feature is even more exciting, because it allows you to narrow down the playing field even further, helping you find the perfect sexy slut for you. Specify eye color, hair color, body type, race, religious preferences, languages spoken, marital status, income, profession, and whether or not she’s into threesomes, group sex, friends with benefits, online flirting, in-person meetups, or relationships. It’s a fairly impressive advanced search. Now I’ll finally be able to find my green-eyed, blue-haired Asian Satanic midget who speaks Swahili, is in a lesbian marriage, makes a 6-figure salary, and is looking for a side piece … It’s about damn time!

Nothing in Life is Free…

Unfortunately, though, it does not appear as if you will be able to do much on Fling for free. In order to view profiles, read or respond to messages, or really do anything on this site (outside from upload pictures), you will have to upgrade and pay. It’s pretty fucking frustrating, too, because Fling will let you see that you’re getting messages and profile views, but it’s just to tease you into upgrading so that you can read the messages. I suppose it’s not too expensive, though, all things considered. Especially if (and this is a big “if”) the girls are real and continue to be this active once you have upgraded your account.

A lot of sites have bots and shit meant to lure you into a subscription, but then once they get your money, the messages and profile views significantly fall off. I can’t say either way with Fling, but let’s just assume that they aren’t looking to screw you over. I try to see the best in people when possible. Anyway, like I was saying, it’s a fair price at $6.95/month if you commit to a full year. That’s about half the price of a Tinder upgrade. One month of Gold membership, however, is $34.95, or you can get a week for $9.95 or 6 months for $11.65 per.

Unfortunately, outside of the site design and potential features, there isn’t a whole lot that I can tell you about Fling. I mean, I’m sure as hell not paying money for a site like this. I don’t need any help getting pussy! But if you do (and a lot of you dudes out there definitely do), it might be worth trying Fling (often misspelled as "flung" and "flings") out. Maybe even just for the 95-cent 2-day trial period. Hey, why the fuck not, right?

Oh, one more life pro tip before I go: I like to keep a little bit of money on a Visa gift card to sign up for any porn-related site that charges on the internet. Just because, hell, you never know! And it’s always better to be safe than sorry!