Oranum

Oranum’s kind of an unusual site, at least from the perspective of a guy used to reviewing the world’s filthiest pornography. I spent my whole morning poking around the site, and I didn’t see a single hardcore anal scene or even so much as a stray nipple. It just isn’t that kind of place. If you’re looking for something to crank off to, you’ll do better with almost anything else I’ve ever reviewed here at ThePornDude. This one straddles some funny lines: you may be able to get some relationship advice, but you won’t find somebody to hook up with; you may chat with a pretty lady over webcam, but she’ll be wearing clothes and won’t be talking dirty; you may have your financial future foretold, but these aren’t financial advisors. At least, not in the traditional, modern sense of the term.

The chances are, you’re reading this review because you already know the concept behind Oranum.com. They’re an online psychic network with hundreds of fortune-tellers, dream interpreters, spiritual guides, tarot readers, astrologers, and other new-age prophets of love. Perhaps it isn’t the typical fare I’m writing up around here, but they get a good half million visitors a month. That tells me somebody’s making use of those services, and I’m curious what I could find that might be of interest to you perverts. So with that in mind, I decided to check out what kind of offerings they had listed under their Love tab.

Like the Modern Version of Miss Cleo

Some of you are probably wondering, “Why is The Porn Dude reviewing a psychic site?” Well, it starts where so many of these things start: Tinder. I matched with a local hottie, who immediately started talking about zodiacs, horoscopes, and the position of the planets after my initial dirty joke openers. I bet you’ve been on one side of this conversation or the other, which usually opens with something along the lines of “What’s your sign?”

After some back and forth about the recent retrograde motion of Mercury, she mentioned a psychic she’d been talking to on Oranum. What the spiritual advisor told her is between the two of them, and what the Tinder girl told me is between the two of us, but I can tell you that planets aligned in my favor that night. A couple of days later, having a one-handed daydream about the encounter, I started getting curious about the site.

Pull up the front page of Oranum.com, and it feels a little bit like a webcam sex site. There are LIVE icons on the side of a long scrolling page of psychics to choose from. Instead of flashing their titties and playing with dildos, though, they’re showing accouterments like tarot cards, candles, incense, and beads. A good portion of them have a mandala wall tapestry; those who haven’t adorned their workspaces with tie-dye, spiritual symbols, and the beautiful, majestic nature of what I can only assume are their own back yards.

In short, they offer a ton of different psychics to choose from. If you’re a newbie to this shit, you might assume every psychic, tarot reader, or numerology expert is the same, but let me tell you before your Tinder match does while unmatching you: they aren’t. Finding the right psychic to advise you on spiritual matters is arguably even more difficult than finding the right cam girl to whack off to. The Indian spiritual gurus on the site will have different advice than the Native American spirit channelers, who will have a different take on things than the grown-up flower children, the Asian love experts, and the Roma fortune tellers.

Click on a psychic on the front page, and you may be able to tune in to their live feed. Again, it’s very similar to a cam site except without the sex. If the thumbnail images don’t tell you enough about the psychics, you can always use the tabs along the header to hone in on your desired style of psychic reading. They’ve got psychics with a range of expertise and styles, from Tarot to Astrology to Dreams, Clairvoyant, Guides, Family, and Numerology. For now, I passed by the Career Advice, the Sound Baths, and the Pet Psychics. Instead, I clicked on the Love icon to determine what the future held for my dick. (Or should I say my heart? Perhaps I need a good psychic to explain the difference in terms even a depraved pervert like myself could understand.)

Looking for Love in All the Psychic Places

Dialing in a category on Oranum.com has a similar effect as if you’d clicked on one of the category tabs on a cam sex site. For example, when I clicked on Love, the search function narrowed my selection down to the psychics who include Love among their specialties. You see the psychics who are currently Live first, so I saw some of the same ones I’d noticed out on the front page. Below the Live psychics was a long row of other psychics available for a Private Call right now.

This seems like a good place to talk about the pricing, huh? Well, I’ll begin like this: there’s a fair amount of free content on Oranum. While you’re unlikely to get your fortune told for free, you can tune in to some of the live psychic cams, watch Instagram-style photo stories, and even absorb some free videos. For example, I watched a psychic dude named Elios deliver a special message about Valentine’s Day, followed by a story on Partner Crafting, which included “3 Ways to Really Know What You Want in a Partner.” So you mean it’s not a huge pair of titties and a big fat bubble butt?

If you want some one-on-one attention, which is arguably the ideal amount of attention from a psychic, you’re going to have to pony up a bit of cash. I know I keep comparing Oranum.com to a sex cam site, which it isn’t, but they share so many details. The Private Sessions here are essentially the same as Private Sessions on a sex cam website; only they’re going to tell your fortune instead of taking off their clothes.

As on other sites that revolve around webcams, Oranum psychics set their own rates. That means you’ll find a range of prices for different psychics and different psychic services. Low-end prices start at a small handful of change and top out at around ten bucks per minute. Speaking from experience with other cam-based sites, I can tell you that Americans tend to charge a lot more for their services than providers in places like Central and South America. It can be handy to habla a little bit of español.

Just like on Chaturbate, Oranum.com uses a token-based system for payment. When you’re re-upping your account, the bigger token packages earn you a bigger pile of freebies, as per usual. One of the huge perks of using the site is that new members can get 10,000 free credits. The catch is that you have to verify your credit card to get them, which is more than fair. This gives you a bit of time to play around with the site and chat with the psychics about your love and sex life before deciding whether it’s worth real money.

Oranum.com has a nice enough set of perks and benefits that it’s difficult to find real fault with the service. I mean, sure, we could get into a whole philosophical conversation about whether or not this is real or just bullshit, but you’ve probably already made up your mind about that. Psychic readings and astrology are personal beliefs that maybe your boyfriend disagrees with, but they sure are a lot of fun, and Oranum makes it easy to get into. They even have an app available for iOS and Android, so you can chat with a psychic on your mobile device.

If you’ve read this far, you may be wondering if your old pal ThePornDude is a believer. To be honest, I’m still kind of on the fence about it. I’ve got ten thousand free Oranum credits, though, or at least what I’ve got left after a few words of wisdom from a pretty Indian lady with a heavy accent. I guess I’ll just have to see how her advice pans out this weekend on the hookup sites. Until then, I genuinely hope the stars are aligned in your favor.